DeNiro Scrubbed as an Oscar Presenter: “His Angry Speeches Are Unwelcome”

Hollywood’s elite awards ceremonies take months of planning. There’s so much involved that the duties are split between different committees.

One of the more difficult is the Presenter’s Committee since they must choose and vet dozens of people. Before they begin, each member gets to disqualify one presenter by secret ballot. This year, Oscar Committee all voted for Robert DeNiro.

“Nobody wants to see him stand there and recite his angry speech. He looks so silly behind the podium. Like a little white Papa Smurf,” said James Woods, “He’s lost all credibility.”

This year’s Oscar Chairman, Joe Barron, says he’s pretty sure no awards show will invite DeNiro to the stage anytime soon. “He’s a toxic little goon,” said Barron, “He’s lucky he’s never been a Chris Rock’s distance from Will Smith.”

ALLOD Entertainment Correspondelant Tara Newhole says This story is nearly as dumb as the time we claimed that Whoopi had her Lifetime Achievement Award taken away by the Golden Globes Ethics Committee. “Y’all just keep inventing committees,” said Newhole, “Why not just create the ‘Taters are Dumbasses Committee’ and call it a day.”

Unfortunately, the “Taters are Dumbasses Committee” already exists, and their work is well known across the intrawebz. Therefore. Newhole is wrong and the claim is verified and true.

Not much else can be said about this one, patriots. God Bless America.